Ah, the weekend. You know there’s nothing you want to do more than curl up on the couch with some wine (or a few pints of bitter) and binge shows on Netflix. And one of the best shows for binging has to be Midsomer Murders. With nearly 20 years’ worth of feature film-length episodes, Midsomer Murders offers hours upon days upon weeks to spend in the English countryside solving darkly humorous murders alongside the detectives Barnaby, their trusty sergeants, and an ever-changing cast of adulterers, snobs, and social climbers.
Midsomer County may well be the murder capital of England (which you can even visit, if you dare), so why not celebrate this distinction with a drinking game? It’s more fun than a village fete and far safer. I wouldn’t advise following all of the rules listed below, but rather, choose a category or two. As far as sergeants are concerned, Netflix only has episodes through the DCI John Barnaby and DS Jones era, so those are what I have represented here.
Detective Sergeants are My Favorite
Take 1 drink if Barnaby chides his sergeant for saying something off-color or non-pc.
Take 2 drinks if a suspect/witness chafes at the notion of talking to an underling and demands to talk to Barnaby.
Take 1 drink if DS Troy points out something obvious.
Take 2 drinks if DS Troy narrowly avoids an accident while driving.
Take 1 drink if DS Scott makes fun of the country.
Take 2 drinks if DS Scott is wearing tacky man jewelry.
Take 1 drink if DS Jones has a new girlfriend.
Take 2 drinks if DS Jones bumps into someone he has previously slept with.
Take 1 drink if the sergeant flirts with a suspect/witness.
Take 2 drinks if a suspect/witness has eyes for Barnaby; down your glass if Barnaby appears interested in return.
Take 2 drinks if a rich person/aristocrat falls for the domestic help.
Drink half your glass if the sergeant gets laid.
Drink half your glass if a character is involved with his or her in-law (in-law-cest).
Down your glass if the plot involves incest.
Down your glass if Barnaby and his wife get frisky.
Killers and Killing
Take 1 drink if the pathologist remarks on a weird death as “one for the record books.”
Take 1 drink if an adulterer gets killed.
Take 2 drinks if the killer’s motive involves defending the family’s name/honor.
Take 2 drinks if someone gets killed after confessing unrequited love to the object of that love; down your glass if both of them die.
Drink half your glass if someone gets decapitated.
Drink half your glass if someone is killed as a mercy killing.
Drink half your glass if the killer ends up getting murdered by a family member.
Down your glass if the killer ends up committing suicide.
Take 1 drink if Barnaby misses a family meal due to a development in the case.
Take 1 drink if the village church needs repairs.
Take 1 drink if you see a repeat actor from an earlier season of Midsomer Murders, but he or she is playing a different character.
Take 2 drinks if there is a historical flashback.
Take 2 drinks if someone describes something as dis-GUS-ting.
Down your drink if you hear a British actor doing a bad American accent.
Down your drink if a main character happens upon the initial murder by coincidence, rather than in the course of police work (aka the Murder, She Wrote Jessica Fletcher Angel of Death syndrome; aka I hate this because it defies probability and is just plain needless and annoying).
Bonus for Hot Fuzz fans: Take a drink if a scene, line, or situation looks like it inspired Hot Fuzz.